Breastfeeding a toddler helps with the child’s ability to mature. Although some experts say a toddler who is not weaned will have difficulty becoming independent, it’s usually the fearful, clingy children that have been pushed into situations requiring too much independence too soon. A breastfeeding toddler is having his dependency needs met. The closeness and availability of the mother through breastfeeding is one of the best ways to help toddlers grow emotionally.
Breastfeeding can help a toddler understand discipline as well. Discipline is teaching a child about what is right and good, not punishment for normal toddler behavior. To help a toddler with discipline, he needs to feel good about himself and his world. Breastfeeding helps a toddler feel good about himself, because his needs are being met.
"helps with the child's ability to mature" is a vague way of putting it. More precisely, as the child grows older, the relationship becomes more complex and the mother will (usually) say "no, not now." because there will be uncomfortable situations. Personally I feel uncomfortable nursing my toddler in public, or in front of men. So i tell him "not now, not here." And I usually show him why, because eventually he will show me he understands my reasoning.
So it "helps him mature" because I communicate about my needs, preferences, and ability to nurse him... If I'm undernourished or emotionally not available to nurse him I tell him about that, too. And he understands! So through empathy, he also matures.
Emotionally it helps us both because I lie down with him, calm myself down, become present, and cuddle with him. Being with him all day I can sometimes get into the mode of 'doing things' and not investing in intimate moments with him, so it guarantees intimacy for these days until he gets older and we'll show intimacy in different, more mature ways.
She forgot to even mention the opiates in mamas milk and how teething pain disappears! My son has molars coming in but he is so high on milk he is well humored and chipper.
A toddler needs many other factors in order to grow into a person who "feels good about himself." Unconditional love, non-excessive praise, a balance of being assisted with tasks as well as being granted independence, et cetera. The most important thing, though, is to continue thinking about parenting and our effect on our children, and to be humble about our abilities. Because one day if our child comes up to us and says "Mom, you always praised me on my intelligence and talent, but never because of how hard I tried, and as a result I give up very easily now if i'm not immediately good at something." Will you get defensive, or will you admit that you've fallen short? In that instance, your child needs you to concede your shortcomings, and that can be difficult to do.
So, breastfeeding is fun and wonderful and a great place to work out relationship and set a foundation, but there is so much in parenting. breastfeeding can sometimes become controversial when a third party gets involved in what optimally is between two people. Its a personal thing, and doesn't reflect as to the quality or even the health of the resulting child.
I breastfed my son until he was a month short of his 3rd birthday. Now he is 7, and I see no negative effects of having done so. We are comfortable being naked together, which is culturally different from many who shield their nakedness. I do see a negative effect from co-sleeping, though. He still wakes up and comes to my bed most nights. I know eventually he will stop, and I am uncertain about how I would do it differently... sleep-training and being non-responsive to a crying infant throughout the nights required for sleep-training doesn't sit well with me, but the amount of interrupted sleep I have gotten makes me consider it as a viable option.
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