Yeap, i'm writing about poop. *sigh*
It was some time ago that i googled pooping, constipation, and baby, to see if i should expect regular bowel movements. The consensus was to 'not worry about it.' So i didn't. But a little later i thought about it more intuitively, and realized that I prefer a regular poop and know i am in balance when i'm regularly pooping. So why should it be different for a new person? Ah~ another case of my health standard being diminished for a pre-verbal human! shame on me.
So last night i pressed my fingers around his belly button, in meridian points that are effective for relieving constipation. This morning he gave a good, healthy, cathartic poop.
This is on my list of 'things i could/should be doing.' Preventive care is like that. You forget to do it until something is out of balance.
Monday 9 May 2011
Unwanted projections upon my baby
I have no control over what associations others have with my child. For example, strangers have often said he is 'serious' when he won't smile at them, an attribution to his character and personality that hasn't actually formed yet, being put there My mom has said "oh its the first time in a while (sashiburi) that he is in a good mood!" which is not only untrue, but creates a story that he is a bad tempered baby.
My mothers case is one of her remembering what she wants to remember. The strangers case is a case of trying to feel better for not receiving a smile from a baby. Both create a story about a child who has no way of defending himself or the way he is perceived (yet).
I just hope that as he grows up, these projections won't become self fulfilling prophecies.
Like i said, i have no control over what associations people will come up with. Is there anything i can do to protect him from unwanted prophecies? I can counteract it by saying what i see. Building awareness in other people doesn't work because it just makes me seem defensive ("it is STANDARD for him to be in good humor! Its his default setting.") But i do see merit in counteracting the negative prophecies with positive characteristics.
On the second day of his birth, my doula asked me 'whats he like'? And i had no idea. Now 9 months later, i have a vague idea, but when i think of the solidity of a childs personality, i still really have no idea. Maybe when he's a child, i'll have no idea based on the difference from child to adulthood, what he'll be like as an adult. I think this unknowingness is a good thing, keeping me open to variation and not getting stuck in what i 'think' he's like. I know what he's like rihgt now. He's curious and occupying himslef with objects from my bag of baby toiletries and miscellaneous items. But what more can i know than what he is showing me at this very moment? All else is memory, and memory can fail, as shown by the example of my mothers memory of his moods.
Once again, a reminder to be present... now he's banging my deodarant together with his thermometer and laughing excitedly. And now he's twisting the deo-bottle from side to side, presumably exploring the weight discrepancy from the top and the bottom... but maybe just exercising his wrist. who knows.
My mothers case is one of her remembering what she wants to remember. The strangers case is a case of trying to feel better for not receiving a smile from a baby. Both create a story about a child who has no way of defending himself or the way he is perceived (yet).
I just hope that as he grows up, these projections won't become self fulfilling prophecies.
Like i said, i have no control over what associations people will come up with. Is there anything i can do to protect him from unwanted prophecies? I can counteract it by saying what i see. Building awareness in other people doesn't work because it just makes me seem defensive ("it is STANDARD for him to be in good humor! Its his default setting.") But i do see merit in counteracting the negative prophecies with positive characteristics.
On the second day of his birth, my doula asked me 'whats he like'? And i had no idea. Now 9 months later, i have a vague idea, but when i think of the solidity of a childs personality, i still really have no idea. Maybe when he's a child, i'll have no idea based on the difference from child to adulthood, what he'll be like as an adult. I think this unknowingness is a good thing, keeping me open to variation and not getting stuck in what i 'think' he's like. I know what he's like rihgt now. He's curious and occupying himslef with objects from my bag of baby toiletries and miscellaneous items. But what more can i know than what he is showing me at this very moment? All else is memory, and memory can fail, as shown by the example of my mothers memory of his moods.
Once again, a reminder to be present... now he's banging my deodarant together with his thermometer and laughing excitedly. And now he's twisting the deo-bottle from side to side, presumably exploring the weight discrepancy from the top and the bottom... but maybe just exercising his wrist. who knows.
Sunday 1 May 2011
Reiki and Nursing
Crying baby. Tired baby. Angry baby. Why won't you listen, he yells. I'm tired! I've been tired for hours!!!!
I feel guilt, sorry, forgiveness, thankfulness, guilt, sorry, forgiveness, thankfulness. guilt, sorry, forgiveness, gratitude. Tired.
His head on my bicep, his neck in my pit, he's suckling, and the channels tingle. My hand palm faces upwards, and the opposite nipple covered by the center of my palm, the energy, the life-force, the Chi, the prana, the Ki, the Qi, that essential thing flows through...
Now, in a sort of post-coital quiet, the still after the storm of sounds, our temperatures have evened out, but now a little flushed. now, reflecting on the profound guilt followed by a deep release... taking in all the garbage i can on my body, carrying it over to the compost pile, and then releasing it, over and over can be exhausting, but quicker and quicker every time.
******
In other news, yesterday i met a wise, radiant child of 13 years. A problem i see with/for mothers, a challenge, is that they are exhausted of their resources of love and presence due to an imbalance somewhere in the system. Depleted, and then unable to be fully present, completely seeing their child for the miraculous amazing beauty they are, all the time. If we mothers could master that, the future generations will be saved!! Its a tall order, i know, because its still a lot of work. But i have faith that once the ball gets rolling, its a lot of fun and we won't ever want to go back!!! No more distractions, frustrations, grievances, compulsions, obsessions, delusions, illusions keeping us out of the present moment, but pure story, and pure, non-symbolic, limitless possibility, creatively loving and completely loving... in a space of love... everything is brigher.
The work it requires is to remove the barriers within us to love. Sounds like a "quote" -By Someone, and thus, much easier said than done.
Then, repeating, over and over, going back to the source, and re-wiring our process into a new reality... Its so difficult!!! But i'm keeping the faith that its possible, because now that i've seen it i can't possibly give up! The prize is just too good.
The good news is, or The thing that is to take the pressure off, is that the kids will be okay.
Anyway, keep a light heart.
May you Be in a space of love.
Always
I feel guilt, sorry, forgiveness, thankfulness, guilt, sorry, forgiveness, thankfulness. guilt, sorry, forgiveness, gratitude. Tired.
His head on my bicep, his neck in my pit, he's suckling, and the channels tingle. My hand palm faces upwards, and the opposite nipple covered by the center of my palm, the energy, the life-force, the Chi, the prana, the Ki, the Qi, that essential thing flows through...
Now, in a sort of post-coital quiet, the still after the storm of sounds, our temperatures have evened out, but now a little flushed. now, reflecting on the profound guilt followed by a deep release... taking in all the garbage i can on my body, carrying it over to the compost pile, and then releasing it, over and over can be exhausting, but quicker and quicker every time.
******
In other news, yesterday i met a wise, radiant child of 13 years. A problem i see with/for mothers, a challenge, is that they are exhausted of their resources of love and presence due to an imbalance somewhere in the system. Depleted, and then unable to be fully present, completely seeing their child for the miraculous amazing beauty they are, all the time. If we mothers could master that, the future generations will be saved!! Its a tall order, i know, because its still a lot of work. But i have faith that once the ball gets rolling, its a lot of fun and we won't ever want to go back!!! No more distractions, frustrations, grievances, compulsions, obsessions, delusions, illusions keeping us out of the present moment, but pure story, and pure, non-symbolic, limitless possibility, creatively loving and completely loving... in a space of love... everything is brigher.
The work it requires is to remove the barriers within us to love. Sounds like a "quote" -By Someone, and thus, much easier said than done.
Then, repeating, over and over, going back to the source, and re-wiring our process into a new reality... Its so difficult!!! But i'm keeping the faith that its possible, because now that i've seen it i can't possibly give up! The prize is just too good.
The good news is, or The thing that is to take the pressure off, is that the kids will be okay.
Anyway, keep a light heart.
May you Be in a space of love.
Always
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