.:.nursing and intimacy.:.

Intimacy begins with Mother. If Mother cannot be fully intimate, Child will grow up with similar blockage towards intimacy.

If Mother can nurse intimately, without shame or worry, then the gateway to intimacy is free and clear.

Shame towards nude breasts and feeding in public... Worry that the boy will have a 'mother-complex'...


Are humans the only species who question their own mothering abilities? Are we the only species who repeats what others have said to us (Don't spoil him! Don't get him used to you picking him up when he fake-coughs!) or do dolphins get social anxiety, too?

I have found it difficult to be myself around others in terms of caring for my baby. When around someone whom i consider more experienced or knowledgeable about babies, I find myself taking on the 'student' role, body language becoming more 'please help me' and my self-confidence declining regarding communication between myself and my baby... When I'm with him, fully present with him, our communication is impeccable, better than it is with any other human being. There is no misunderstanding, and the most subtle hand movements communicate everything necessary. But when others are around, 'maybe it was a nightmare!' and their countless projections 'maybe he's bored.'

I guess at this point it has nothing to do with nursing and intimacy... Intimacy, maybe... Intimacy in public. Something i must Master... I"ve had this issue with lovers, too, unable to acknowledge intimacy when witnessed by others. hehe Its my moms fault!

But in all seriousness....

Next time I notice this block of intimacy in public, i will make the conscious adjustment to make contact with and become present with my baby. If I have been separate from him, i will reconnect, either by taking some private time with him or separating myself from the crowd. Then i'll reintegrate into the circle with him, still fully present. (Worry: New Mothers are obsessed with their babies and only look at their babies.)

Gosh... stupid humans. Overthinking, overanalyzing.

At what point in evolution did breastfeeding become such psychological warfare? Oh... Actually i know the answer to that, but thats a whole other tangent on maslow's hierarchy of needs. I am climbing the pyramid towards self-actualization.

This tangent is now
over