'Let Him Cry.' Express as you feel, baby.

Janet Lansbury captured my attention and interest in her articulate posts and incredibly well organized Blog page :)

I thought i was present with my baby, but damn!! There's always more to cap off.

Upon reading this blog, i started putting my baby down for some time every day with the purpose of letting him explore more. I really have enjoyed watching him play, and he's benefited in the last two days by becoming able to roll onto his stomach, which he's been able to do before, but due to my 'carry him around and let him see my world' philosophy, he hadn't really been given much opportunity! Anyway, I'm not regretting it or anything, I needed to carry him and vice versa. He's now ready to play alone more, so i'm just taking the cues from my environment!

Another thing I was reminded of was that its Really Okay for him to cry. Personally, my family doesnt like me to get angry or depressed. And i understand the sentiment. I don't want my baby to be angry or sad either. But being a baby is frustrating. He can't talk, he gets tired, he can't really move much on his own volition. He can't sit up, he can't stand up, he can't do all the things he dreams of doing. So when he gets tired, he's really cranky. His eyebrows furrow angrily and he babbles. Today he woke up earlier than usual and was more tired than usual. We had a long day yesterday and his naps were too short.

I played with him before naptime, throwing him up in the air and making him laugh, playing peekaboo which he recently started enjoying, and his eyes were so read and tired, but putting him down to rest the usual way was only upsetting him. So after playing with him and feeling certain that it wasn't for lack of connection that he was crying, I set him down in his comfortable sleeping position, with earplugs in my ears. He cried, he cried more, he screamed, and i didnt pick him up, but i lay infront of him, offering him my breast if he wanted it, but him usually just taking a few more sips and then continuing to cry. I was okay with this, and just put my face next to his and watched him cry. He then Opened his Eyes, looked at me, whimpered a little bit, and i said something like 'i know, i understand.' and then he went to sleep.

And he's still asleep, though i haven't moved besides to get my computer.

"Letting" him cry, has often felt dismissive to me, and usually thats what it is. I have left the room, i have ignored him, and it really felt like 'letting' him cry. But watching him cry and being there with him (which i have done before, too, just to clarify) is also "letting" him cry. "Letting" can also be allowing and accepting.

Right on. Write on, janet.