"Thank you for raising an enlightened child. Our world needs it!" said an elder that i really respect. Oh, i was so flattered! But the past few days have not been harmonious. They haven't been bad, either, but our relationship hadn't been super, due to jetlag and a lack of routine, which is soon to change. I really love routine, and i'm sure my baby does, too.
Enlightened children. What does that entail? Surely it can't mean that I am a perfect mother, because that is too much pressure and i crumble under pressure. I wouldn't be able to stop kicking myself in the ass for letting him cry, for being tired when all i want to do is sleep but he wants to stay up for another 2 hours because of the time difference of maryland and california.
Enlightened children. A child living in the light, that's all it is. A lot of parents i have seen pass on the darkness they have inherited. The darkness stops here. I say i buckle under pressure, but i should rephrase... I don't thrive under unreasonable expectations! But the darkness stopping with me is reasonable. By casting light upon the darkness, he can easily transmute any pain that i residually feel. All i have to do is be honest when i feel angry or frustrated, and say 'I feel really angry and frustrated right now. ahhhhH!!!!!!!! *breathe*" and then let him Watch me transform my anger and frustration into relaxation and peace.
I can do that!
I'm a pro at that!!!
And with him being able to see that, as he grows, he'll learn the same skill (bless him.)
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